I’m Tom.

I’m the one on the left.

I’m a humor writer for publications like McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and The New Yorker. My satire book Chud Buffly’s MANTHOLOGY: 365 Alpha Maxims Guaranteed to Help You Know Everything, Feel Nothing, Get Jacked, and Never Die comes out in 2026. It will contain at least 100 pieces of punctuation.

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